I'm a falling star
by IreneAshlynHerondaledafangirl
Summary: this is a Renessme/ Alec story.. renessme's about to be married to Jacob Black… all because of a stupid joke…. So she escapes… right to Italy… out of one loop, into another. But will this loop take her to her happily ever after, or will she be always stuck in the shadows? R&R!
1. Chapter 1: I'm not anti-social, I'm anti

Okkkaaayyy since this is my final year in school, I haven't really got much time for fanfics… SORRY! But I will try my best to be a good writer, I promise!So this is a Renessme/ Alec story.. renessme's about to be married to Jacob Black… all because of a stupid joke…. So she escapes… right to Italy… out of one loop, into another. But will this loop take her to her happily ever after, or will she be always stuck in the shadows? R&R!

Love, Irene Ashlynn  
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**Sticks and****stones****may break my bones, but words will never hurt me….. Like hell they won't.  
Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words and sentences shatter my heart.  
_**

Chapter 1- I'm not antisocial, I'm anti-idiot

Ren POV

A new day. But that seems like a complete misnomer, because it isn't a new day at all. Here I am, in the same old house, the same people, the same room, with the same sun shining through the same old windows. My situation is same too- Renessmee Cullen, about to be married to Jacob Black, her handsome wolf. Huh. Handsome, my ass… he is handsome from outside, wicked from inside. How could he, I think to myself. "How could he be so cruel to play such a cruel joke on me?" There is no one around who can give me my answer. No one except me and my memories, who keep playing the same broken record.

FLASHBACK

"Hey nessie!" Jake beamed and lifted me of the ground as I squealed, laughing. " hey Jakey!" I grinned, happy to be with my best friend. I had an awesome family, a great gang of werewolves who were my friends, and a best friend like Jacob. What could spoil my utopia? Little did I know, I was about to get a reality check. "nessie, I need to tell you something….. I am gonna die soon…. Because some mysterious virus has striked the pack….. or rather killed many werewolves….. and I think it has gotten me….." Jake whispered, looking down. The grin vanished of my face. The wind kept rushing in my ears.

"Jake… you're kidding right? I mean, this is impossible…. And I'm gonna punch you for this joke, you mutt!" I said, laughing, thinking he'd laugh with me. But then, a painful expression ripped through his eyes as they shone with sadness. "No, Nessie… its true….. and this disease is incurable…..so Carlisle can't help me." He said, shaking his head sadly. "Okay, STOP! You've got to be kidding me…. this… can't happen… no… not with you… no…. no…" I said, grabbing my head and sinking to the ground in shock. He was joking. He was an idiot, like always. And any second now, he's gonna burst out laughing like old times… I whispered to myself, trying to calm down. "But what if it's true? What if it is REALLY true?" I whispered, my voice cracked. Jake sat down. He forced my chin up and said, "Nessie, you are my imprint…. Ever since you were born, I have loved you…. And there is nothing in this world for me now, except you… I want to live my life with you… I want to dream and love you… so…. Will you grant me my last wish and say that you love me, like I you?" Jake asked.

The sun was gone, lost behind the clouds. The wind now roared in my ears, as though to yell at me to show how wrong this felt, how messed my life was. The grass was coloured dark green. There was silence. Complete, deafening silence, which burned through my ice-cold veins. The words which he just said kept banging on my skull like an iron hammer. I felt numb, yet I felt horrible. How, how was I to say no to his last wish? How was I to deny and reject his love for me and completely shatter his heart? But it was true, and I felt sick knowing that he had imprinted on me. But still, like a foolish girl I replied, "Yes. Yes, I will." Even if it means condemning myself and my true feelings. His face lit up. "YES!"he roared. "I knew it! See you assholes, I told you she'd say yes!" he screamed and suddenly, my audience came. The whole wolf pack stepped out of nowhere, all those immature guys grinning." Congrats Mr-and-Mrs-about-to-be-married!" they all screamed. But it went through my spine like a thousand volts of electricity. "what do they mean jake?" I said, now reeling from this shock. "I'm not dying, silly. It was just a little test to see how much you loved me. All the imprintees had to take it. Congrats, you've passed!" He laughed grinning.

-PRESENT TIME-

A joke. I killed my heart for a joke. A sick, stupid joke, by an even more sick mutt. I killed my feelings for him, and now I am bound. Bound by my promise to marry him.

A knock came upon my door. "Don't come in if you're stupid." I said, emotionlessly. The door opened and Leah Clearwater an my mom stepped in. "Well, isn't this week full of surprises. What's next? Wiz Khalifa strip dances in Trumsbull?" I said snarkily. "What's with all this anti-social attitude? You're about to be married. So why are you sitting in your room like you're a prisoner?" Mom demanded, frowning at me. "I'm not  
being Anti-social. I 'm being Anti-idiot. Contro idiota. Anti i̱líthios. विरोधी मूर्ख. anti exc-" "I got it. Now be nice to our guest." My mom sighed, tired. "bye, both of you. We are going hunting, so you two have the house to yourself"

"What do you want now leah? Another joke from your pretty pack? O r you're just here to see me." I said, not even caring that she'd probably tell all about my snarky behavior to jake, and then I'd have to confront him. "I'm not here for that. Actually, I don't even know you that well, so I don't know why I'm here. But I won't tell anything about this to Jacob, or any other guy." "You can tell them. You're not my protectress or something. We aren't even friends. Which brings me back to, why the hell are you here?" I asked her. "I'm here to be friends with you I guess. Now that you've understood how horrible mates can get and you've lost your coloured glasses, we can talk like human beings."

She shrugged. I sighed. Somehow, it didn't matter how she knew that I didn't wanna marry Jake. Maybe I'd always known she'd know. The way she'd looked at me that horrible day, not laughing, not crying and grinning like the others were. Just staring with an unrecognizable emotion in her eyes. Maybe, it wasn't hatred. Maybe it was understanding . She was right. Werewolves can be horrible "I know. Horrible reality check. And I don't know what to do. Everyone expects me to the radiant bride, all smiley-amiley and blushy-blushy. Shit, I hate blushy-blushy. I wanna kick someone right now. Hardcore." I said, finally feeling happy that I could TALK, and not just say something others wanted to hear. "But enough of that. Jakes a freaking dumb asshat. I am an idiot for saying yes. Matter finished." "Oh, is it? It's not finished till you or he die, darling. And that's a REALLY long time." "Well, then I'm a piece of mess." "We

Know that already. You've fucked up. Now what are you going to do? Sit here? Nope, that ain't gonna happen, chick. You're going. Away." "Where? And why?" I frowned.  
"Away from here. We'll figure it out. Don't worry. Just hold on to your heart and brain. The rest of you will follow." "Right."

We were both being stupid. I couldn't escape. I'd made a commitment, a promise. Still, hope was a dangerous thing. I was already making plans, and thinking whether I could leave right now.

**King James 2000 Bible**  
That which is gone out from your lips you shall keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as you have vowed unto the lord your God, which you have promised with your mouth.

Well.. how was it? please review!


	2. Chapter 2: Elpis is a drug

Okay, so firstly, a BIG thank you for the exhilarating response to my story! Thanks guys, I was really very happy and grateful for all of it! So here's the second chapter for I'm a falling star! Hope you like it! R & R!

Love, IreneAshlynn  
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"_Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."__― __Stephen King__, __Different Seasons__  
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Chapter 2- Elpis is a drug

Ren POV

I and Leah were quiet. Just staring outside, lost in our thoughts. Her previous comment still had me hooked. Could it really happen? Could I leave, and find my own way? Could I be happy? There were two voices, and the conflict was that both were angels. One said, "Go. Fulfilling your dreams is just as important as fulfilling others. And by entering into a one-sided love marriage, you are condemning both- yourself and Jacob. So its best you stop this and leave. While you still have time." The other said, "you have made a promise, an oath. Oaths are not made to be broken. It is your duty to fulfill your promise. This marriage was your decision, your action. Now you have to stand up and face the consequences. Not crying and bitter, but with a happy smile."

I was a Cullen, and Cullens were meticulous and diligent in whatever they did. They never left unaccomplished tasks, so this marriage seemed like a very tall order to me. I sighed and looked at Leah. She gave me awry and painful smile and said, "You're thinking about it, right? Running away. It was my stupid comment, was it not?" "It isn't your fault. You've just given me a new food for thought which is really refreshing. Up till now, I was just cursing my tongue and mainly, cursing Jacob. Now I'm thinking maybe this knot can be undone. I'm just scared of what lies inside the box. Will I find a treasuring memory, or will I find another deathly spirit?

"We both know the answer to your question lies in your opening the box. But what I don't get is, the idiot did imprint on you. So why don't you return his feelings?" "I guess it has something to do with my being a hybrid or something. The most I can go to think of a relationship with Jacob is for us to be brother –sister. Although now I'm pretty sure it isn't the same with him." I said wryly. Leah laughed. "You don't say, chick. Well enough about that. Maybe he isn't really your soulmate. Sam wasn't mine, as you can see very obviously. But what's of pivotal importance is that you cannot go through this marriage. This marriage is like selling your soul to the devil. No ren, you can't do this. We have to do something, and I know for damn sure that Jacob won't back off, even if you say no. what's done is done. Now what matters is getting you out of here. You need time." "I know, Lee.. can I call you lee?" I asked, unsure about what we were in her brain. For me, she was definitely turning out to be a great friend, some who had seen sorrow and heartbreak in the face and was still living. Harsh on the outside, warm on the inside. It was a whole new side of her, and I was enjoying the feeling of having a friend. "Sure. After all I called you ren without your permission too. I figured you'd hate me calling you 'his' nickname for you. It was dumb anyways." Leah said, shrugging. I grinned. "Yeah, thanks for that. Ren… hmmmm I like the sound of it!" I said, feeling satisfied. The new name gave me a sort of new hope that I could be who I was, instead of being someone others thought I was. It gave me incentive and courage to find a new direction to go in. like I could do my own thing, make my own fate. It was a strong feeling, and a much-needed one, too, after one week of despair and anger. I was right, hope was dangerous. But I needed it right now. "So, lee, I said, what should I pack? Backpacker or holiday-holic?" I said, feeling happy about finally making a choice. Leah smirked. "I say, you should go for backpacker, with plenty of money, so once you settle in somewhere, you can buy what you need. And about that excuse to your family, just say you are 'soul- searching.' Not far from the truth, anyway."

I smiled and opened my closet. There was a bag big enough for all my essentials so I quickly put them all in. "What about clothes? Should I pack all combat goodies or go girly, the way Aunt Alice would love to see me as, but I'm never gonna be?" It was true. I did like dresses, but I wasn't all fashion conscious or the one to get super excited about a shopping trip. Aunt Alice blamed my mom for this, and we always laughed whenever I refused to wear one of Aunt Alice's dresses. I and my mom were super-close and we loved each other to death. A lump formed in my throat as I thought of leaving behind my bestest friend in the world, my mom, and my king, my dad, who was overprotective and loving and was the reason I was a princess. Yes, I was a princess, not because I'd found a prince, but cause' my dad was a king. I shook my head, determined not to cry. "Go for what you like. This trip is about you." Leah said. "But take a dress or two. Never know when you might need it." I nodded, and put in a purple dress that I absolutely loved to pieces, and another green one. I took a piece of paper and a pen and wrote,  
Dear Dad, Mum and all,

I love you all. But I want to travel. Daddy, remember when you read to me about the age of discovery, how I said I wanted to explore to? Well, right now, I really needed to. My whole life I've lived in this pretty town. But I want to live outside. You must be thinking, why now? Why when I'm about to be married? Well, when I marry, I'll enter a new stage of my life. And without completing my first stage, how can I complete the next? So please, I'm begging you, let me leave and travel. I _will _be back. Soon. Just until then, push this marriage forward. Please. I love you all

Love, Renesmee Lyric Cullen

**A.N/ I know renesmee's second name is carlie, but I wanted to have another name for her, for which the reasons you will understand later. Thanks!  
_**

"Well, Lee, it's time to leave." I whispered, getting up and wiping away my tears. Leah got up and hugged me. "Go. I'll cover for you, in whatever lie you've told. But if you don't call me first, I swear to god I'll murder you Cullen" she said, growling the last part out. I smiled. "I wouldn't dare. Now bye."

I got out of the house, not looking back even once. "Where to go?" I thought. And then the answer came, or rather floated towards me, I should say. A breeze blew, and a small ticket landed on my feet. It was for….. Italy. "Well, god, I hope you have a good plan for me."  
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When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.

- Alexander Graham Bell

Well, how was it? Please review! Love, IreneAshlynn


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